I may have mentioned it before, but I
have been a forum moderator for going on nine years. In that time,
I've seen a lot of good and bad conduct online. Since probably about
9 out of 10 of you have a Facebook account, I'm sure you have too.
Sometimes it seems like people like to just 'let it all hang out',
thinking they are anonymous and/or can hide behind a computer screen.
It's amazing what kinds of things people will say or post when they
don't think it will be traced back to them or don't have to actually
look the person they're talking to in the eye. I know I've 'erred' this way! While most people
don't mean any harm, there are some occasions where it really pays to
be cautious. From the perspective of someone 'inside' the
online-admin 'world', here are a few suggestions to keep in mind next
time you post.
Don't 'over-share'. It's
good that you want to share news with the world, but not everyone
wants to hear everything.
For example, I think it's cool if a friend who has just found out
that she (or for a man, his wife) is pregnant to mention it and/or
post ultrasound pictures. I do not, however, want to see an
ultrasound of a kidney stone. I think it's great when someone who
has previously asked for prayer or has had something major happen in
their family posts an update, but I'd rather not know how big the
tumor was or how long someone was in labor. There are just some
things I don't want to read over my morning coffee, thank you.
Consider your audience.
Remember, anything that is posted online is out there for anyone
to see, and permanently. Even if we have privacy restrictions saying
only certain people can see what you post, nothing stops those people
from copying it or sharing it with anyone else. Also, if you set it
up so 'friends of friends' can see things, it means exactly that;
that I might be able to see something from a person I don't know
because we share a mutual contact. I guess a good rule of thumb can
be this-if you wouldn't want your boss, priest or mom seeing
something, don't post it. That goes for pictures, status updates or
links. If you don't want forty or fifty million of your closest
friends seeing your name or anything else about you on it, think
twice.
Remember that there is a real person
on the other side of the screen. It's
really easy to forget that it's not a computer screen or chat room
persona we are talking to, but an actual person.
Like I said before, a lot of people will be more 'open' online than
in 'real life'-that includes being willing to talk to someone using
words or a tone we wouldn't otherwise. I've had to eat my words on a
number of occasions. Also, we don't have the benefit of non-verbal
cues online that we do in offline conversations, so do what you can
to make sure your intent is clear. If you're joking, say so or use a
smiley. If you're being sarcastic, indicate so. It takes a bit of
extra typing, but it pays off.
And
last but certainly not least-
Don't feed the trolls!
If there is someone who seems intent on annoying people or who seems
to only be trying to push your buttons, don't play along. If someone
is bothering you, don't respond in kind. In fact, don't respond at
all. Trolls are the online equivalent to the playground bully-they
are trying to get a rise out of you and will get bored and leave if
they don't. Put them on ignore. There is nothing wrong with blocking
or ignoring someone who consistently upsets you. If you think that
you or someone else is being harassed and/or any threats of violence
are made, alert the site's admins immediately.
Chances are it's just some bored teenager home on a Friday night, but
you never know. I'd rather you not find out the hard way.
Hopefully
I've given you some food for thought. I'm sure you wouldn't
intentionally bother anyone, online or otherwise. Even so, you might
be able to pass my advice onto someone else.
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