Who Says Animals Don't Feel For Their Humans?

There's no doubt that animals can hold a special place in our lives. A lot of people, however don't understand the profound connection that can form between animals and “their humans”. They might say they love their pets, but they don't see how much animals can truly feel for their owners. A Facebook wall post led me to a website that describes these connections to a tee.

You cannot look at this and tell me that animals don't feel the loss of their humans. Some people think animals aren't intelligent or emotional enough, for this, but I think this video would prove them wrong.

http://blog.petflow.com/this-dogs-human-passed-away-what-happened-next-is-unbelievable/

It's nothing like this, but I remember coming home after having spent a month in the hospital and having to sleep downstairs on a makeshift bed because I couldn't climb the stairs. Missy, my brown tabby, was at the end of the bed every day when I woke up, almost as though she were making sure I didn't leave again. Yes, I'm tearing up as I'm typing this.

This one is a bit long, but can you imagine how awesome it would be to be able hug a lion and hold it like a teddy bear as you slept? That's how it happens for this wildlife expert who calls himself “the lion whisperer”. The lions know him by sight and, while they appear to be attacking him, they are just playing with him the way a German Shepherd would with its owner. In contrast, my cats have scratched me so much that I still have scars. To get a good look at this amazing story, here's the video.

http://blog.petflow.com/this-man-walked-right-up-to-a-wild-lion-and-did-the-craziest-thing-ever/

Most of the “cuddly stuff” is in the beginning, but it's really interesting to see how this man interacts with these wild and normally-dangerous creatures.

Note: I'm sure I don't have to tell you this, but do not try anything like this at home! In North Carolina there was a man a few years ago who kept a tiger as a pet from the time it was a cub. It was largely tamed, but it ended up attacking and killing a 10-year-old boy. “Tamed” and “domesticated” are not the same thing!

Speaking of which-

You may remember a story a few years ago about Roy Horn of Siegfried and Roy being attacked by one of their tigers during a show. At first it wasn't clear whether or not Roy was going to make it, but he's recovered significantly in the ten years since the incident- a lot more than anyone thought he would. What I find most interesting is that, while most of us assumed it was an attack, Roy says it wasn't. Apparently he had passed out on stage and Montecore-the gorgeous white tiger who's been part of their show for years-grabbed him by the neck and tried to drag him offstage. Roy says he was acting on the feline instinct of grabbing a baby by the scruff of the neck and carrying it to safety, but, for obvious reasons, this only caused more damage. The recovery Roy made is nothing short of miraculous; the fact that he can walk, talk and even perform magic again is inspirational in and of itself! Ten years later, Roy and Montecore are still the best of friends. For more details, visit http://www.lasvegassun.com/vegasdeluxe/2013/sep/30/siegfried-roy-revelations-10th-anniversary-tiger-i/.

Quotes About Female Friendship

As happy as we may be in our romantic lives, there's just something about having a good friend that adds dimension to your life. Here are some quotes about this very thing.

True friends are those who really know you but love you anyway.-Edna Buchanan, author

It's the ones you can call up at 4 am that matter.-Marlene Dietrich, actress and singer

Friends are the family we choose for ourselves.-Edna Buchanan, author

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.-Oprah Winfrey, author and television host

A friend is one who walks in when others walk out.-Walter Winchell, journalist and commentator

Besties before testes.-”Jane Bingham”, Drop Dead Diva

Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend.-Albert Camus, French author and journalist

Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.-Helen Keller, author and political activist

It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.-Ralph Waldo Emerson, author

Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies.-Aristotle

A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down.-Arnold Glasow, author

There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate.-Linda Grayson, author

There is nothing like puking with somebody to make you into old friends.-Sylvia Plath, author

True friends are like diamonds-bright, beautiful, valuable and always in style.-Nicole Richie, reality TV train wreck

I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. -Stand By Me

Friends should be like books-few, but hand-selected.-C.J. Langerhoven, author

Never explain-your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway.-Elbert Hubbard, author and philosopher

So long as the memory of certain beloved friends lives in my heart, I shall say that life is good.-Helen Keller, author and political activist

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.-Dr. Seuss

Friendship between women can take different forms. It can run like a river, quietly and sustainingly through life; it can be an intermittent, sometime thing; or it can explode like a meteor, altering the atmosphere so that nothing ever feels or looks the same again.-Mary Haskell, author and actress

Friendship is the sweetest form of love.-Annie Gottlieb, author

Are You Oversensitive? What To Do If You Are

I'm writing this article as much for myself as I am for you. While I am not easily offended, I do have a tendency to take things personally when I really shouldn't. Since I am such a 'people-pleaser', I don't always take criticism well and am affected by things (i.e. someone using a harsh tone of voice with me) other people wouldn't be. Does this sound familiar to you? If so, you probably know how oversensitivity can affect your life and relationships with others. After all, no one wants to go around with hurt feelings or 'walk on eggshells'. If you feel that you need to 'toughen up', here are some suggestions.

• Stop assuming it's about you. I know this title sounds rude, but it's important to know that sometimes people do things that aren't related to you. For instance, you might think that your sister hasn't returned your calls because she's mad at you. Think of other possible reasons-does she work a lot of hours? Is she busy with her kids? Is she usually bad about returning calls? Does she do this to everyone? None of these things have anything to do with you, so you don't have to take her actions (or lack thereof) personally.
• Analyze your reaction. Sometimes our reactions to things in our lives aren't due to things that are happening now, but to things that happened in the past. For example, suppose a 'friend' in high school would gossip about you and try to turn others against you after every argument. When you argue with your neighbor now, you might worry that she will do the same thing. Instead of assuming it, step back and analyze the situation. Aside from the fact that it would be a really juvenile thing to do, your neighbor might not be the kind of person to gossip about you to others. Has she given you any reason to think she is? Even if she were, is there any reason to think others would turn against you? Also, how would you advise a friend if she came to you with the same situation? Believe it or not, asking yourself these questions can help you to see things more objectively and better handle them.
• Find ways to build self-esteem. Oversensitivity is often linked to low self-esteem. Reminding yourself of the positive things about you and your life isn't being conceited, it's a necessary part of feeling good about yourself. If you are able to think more highly of yourself, it will be easier to stop internalizing everything. Being able to say, “that's just your opinion” can go a long way in helping you lessen your sensitivity to others' behavior.

Hopefully you (and I!) will be able to stop being oversensitive and anxious about everything. Simply being sensitive isn't a bad thing; it shows that you care about people and have compassion. It can, however, become a problem if you take every thoughtless word or action personally. Being able to see yourself in a more positive light can help you realize that you don't need to feel bad and worry about what others think.

Must-have movies for a 'chick-flick' party

However much we love the men in our lives, sometimes we just need to hang out with the girls. After all, guys don't usually consider shoe shopping and drooling over Ryan Reynolds when he takes of his shirt in National Lampoon's Van Wilder to be a good time. There are some things you just can't do with the 'menfolk' around.

When I had a particularly difficult breakup, some of my friends got together and threw me a 'chick flick' party. We ate ice cream, watched The First Wives Club and, to quote one friend, 'bitched about men'. It wasn't that my friends were man-haters so much as that they were trying to give me a way to get vent some of my frustration with the breakup. However, 'chick-flicks' don't always have to be 'angry'. Many have stories that are simply more appealing to women. Here are some of my favorite 'chick flicks'.

• Dirty Dancing. Jennifer Grey-before the nose job-makes beautiful music with a young and gorgeous Patrick Swayze on a 1960s family vacation to the Catskills. It's mostly a story about a shy young girl finding herself and her first love, but the soundtrack and wonderful dance scenes make this a slumber-party staple. Plus, he takes off his shirt.
• The Princess Bride. Here, a young woman loses the love of her life, only to find that he isn't dead after all. Problem is, she's engaged to a prince. She might be a fairy-tale princess, but she is no shrinking violet. Her first love enlists the help of some fairy-tale friends to rescue the princess and live happily ever after. To answer the first question of the movie...yes, it's a kissing book.
• The First Wives Club. This one isn't about 'man-bashing' so much as celebrating female friendships. The premise is that three college friends reunite after the suicide of another friend in the wake of her husband leaving her for another woman. The women get together and use their anger at their ex-spouses to build up their confidence and reinforce the friendships that they had let slide over the years. They do end up making their exes pay-literally, but the biggest theme is about how a woman doesn't need a man to be 'complete'. You can see why this was a good 'breakup-therapy' movie choice.
• Chicago. I'm only calling this one a 'chick flick' because most (straight) men I know don't like musicals. The men might like the skimpy outfits some of the women wear during the dance numbers, but the song Cell Block Tango where the women talk about how the murdered their husbands/boyfriends made the boyfriend I saw the movie with rather uncomfortable. For the record, it's not 'anti-man' so much as 'anti-bad behavior', and there were a few other songs from/about strong women. If you're upset about a breakup, hearing 'he had it coming' can be very cathartic.

These are only a few 'chick-flicks' that can make any girls' night fun. If you want, the American Movie Channel's website has a list of the most memorable 'girl movies.  Have fun!

How To Identify And Deal With Toxic People

We all have times when people get on our nerves, and there are probably some people you can only take in small doses. Some people seem to always make us feel bad about ourselves, and you can be angry and upset after every encounter with them. Believe it or not, there is a such thing as a 'toxic person'. But how can you tell if someone is truly toxic, as opposed to just annoying? How do we deal with them?

Examples of toxic people are those who:

• constantly complain
• talk about others behind their backs
• put others down
• seem to enjoy taking things out on other people
• find fault in everything you say and do
• constantly stick their nose where it doesn't belong
• Take advantage of you but never give anything in return and make you feel guilty for saying 'no' to them

One thing that is 'tricky' about toxic people is that they're often not entirely 'bad' people. A person could be toxic in some situations, but not others. I have a friend who is the first one to jump in if you ever need help, but she comes across as very negative. She does complain a lot and sounds like she's criticizing when she's not, but that's mostly because of the tone of voice she uses without even knowing she's using it. Part of dealing with toxic people is knowing what to take to heart and what to just ignore. Here are a few other ways to deal with them:

• Limit your contact with them whenever possible. If you can't completely avoid them, try to avoid getting into situations with them that may bring about the toxic behavior.
• Set firm boundaries. If they tend to take advantage of you, make it clear what you are and are not willing to do for them. If they are meddlers, make it clear what is and is not their business. If they are complainers or gossips, make it clear that you do not want to 'participate'. If they try to lay a 'guilt trip' on you, remember that you have every right to say 'no' to something you don't want to do.
• If they direct their gossip or ire against you, don't bother to defend yourself or argue with them. Basically, don't play their game.
• As I said above, identify what the toxic behavior is and tune it out. Change the subject, leave the room or find something else to focus on.
• If there are positive things about this person, try to remember those things.
• Above all, take care of yourself. If being around this person or behavior is taxing your mental health, don't feel guilty about walking away.

Hopefully I've given good advice that can help you deal with the toxic people in your life. Overall, you cannot change another person's behavior or thought patterns. You can, however, change your own so that you can better deal with them.