Songs For Your Long-Distance Love

As you've probably guessed, I love music. There's just something about hearing what you're thinking put to a tune that makes you feel 'understood'. In addition to the romantic and mother-child love songs I've mentioned before, I thought I'd share some of my favorite 'long-distance love songs'.

What's a 'long distance love song'? I'm defining it as a song that you can dedicate/send to your partner when s/he is far away. Also, a 'long-distance love song' can help you feel better during those nights when you notice their absence the most. I'm sure we can all relate.


I first heard this Blue October song in the grocery store, of all places! It's such an upbeat song that it can make you smile and tear up at the same time. Here's the lead up and chorus:

 Expect me to be calling you to see/if you're okay when I'm not around
Asking if you love me/I love the way you make it sound
...
And I will keep calling you to see
If you're sleeping, are you dreaming/if you're dreaming, are you dreaming of me
I can't believe/you actually picked me

You can read and hear the rest here: http://www.lyrics.com/calling-you-lyrics-blue-october.html#
The video makes it look like it's from a father to a child, but I think it works or romantic love as well. One lady said her boyfriend sent her this song while he was in Iraq. Very sweet!


When my husband and I started dating, he lived over 400 miles away. During the times I drove to see him, this song from Three Doors Down helped me a lot.

I'm here without you, baby/but you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you, baby/and I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you, baby/but you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight, it's only you and me


I think it's pretty obvious why I liked it. :) You can read and hear the rest here: http://www.lyrics.com/here-without-you-lyrics-3-doors-down.html#

Anyone who listened to 'hair metal' 'Hair Metal' in the 80s (wow, dating myself here!) can agree that Mötley Crüe isn't exactly known for their love ballads. That's part of what makes their song, 'Home Sweet Home' stand out-


I know I'm a dreamer/ but my heart's of gold
I've had to run away high/so I wouldn't come home low
'Just when things went right'/doesn't mean they're always wrong
Just take this song and you'll never feel left all alone
Take me to your heart/Baby in your bones
Just one more night and I'm comin' off this long winding road


You can hear and read the rest here: http://www.lyrics.com/home-sweet-home-lyrics-mtley-cre.html#
Even if you're not a fan of the group, it's worth a listen.


To put another twist on the 'I miss you' tip, here's an R&B song by Jordin Sparks and Chris Brown. I like this one because it's a duet, so it speaks from both sides. This one doesn't appear to be about a long-distance relationship so much as a breakup that was brought on because one person had to go away, but I could be wrong.  Here's part of the chorus:

Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air
Can't live, can't breathe with no air
It's how I feel whenever you ain't there
It's no air, no air


You can hear and read the rest here:
http://www.lyrics.com/no-air-lyrics-jordin-sparks.html#


Are there any songs that are particularly meaningful to you?

Can Long Distance Relationships Work? Some Advice From a 'Veteran'

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When I say, 'veteran', I don't mean being in the armed services. What I mean is that I've been in a number of long-distance relationships. In fact, my current husband and I were in a long-distance relationship up until I moved to Georgia to be with him. The relationship before that was also long- distance, so I've come to learn a lot about how these things work. Hopefully I can use this experience to help others deal with the challenges long-distance couples face.

I'll start off by saying this: your relationship needs to be aiming for the two of you to eventually be at the same place. It is very hard for a relationship to build the kind of commitment and intimacy needed to work long-term if you don't have a goal in mind. It needs to be going somewhere, or else it's just going to stagnate and make both you and your partner miserable. I don't mean to be overdramatic; it's just that I have been in this position before I met my husband. Saying, 'I'll move there after XYZ is finished' when there's no clear plan for XYZ or just, “I'll move there eventually” isn't going to cut it. It might work fine for the short-term but, if you're trying to build or maintain a long-term relationship, there needs to be a plan for the future. You don't necessarily have to have your wedding planned out, but the two of you need to be on the same page so that one person doesn't feel like they are doing all the 'work'. Trust me on this one!

Also, you need to keep in regular contact. This probably goes without saying, but it is essential to keep the lines of communication open and to use them on a regular basis. I'd suggest at least four to five days a week, but you can work out what works best for you. Set aside a specific time-say, weeknights after Letterman-that the two of you will devote to talking/chatting to each other. If you have a more-or-less regular schedule, you'll be able to focus more and be sure you don't miss the calls. When you do talk to each other, be sure there is some quality to the conversations. You may not always have a whole lot to say, but make those phone calls count.

Be very upfront with each other about how you are feeling. Even with regular calls and visits, you can still get lonely at times. Loneliness can sometimes lead you to do things you otherwise wouldn't, so being honest about this is very helpful. Perhaps there is something you can both change to relieve the loneliness but, even if there isn't, being upfront can help you better deal with it. Keeping busy can help a lot in terms of giving you something to take your mind off of things.

I hope the advice I've given here can help you in your relationship. It definitely takes effort, but good ones are worth it.