Need to take a break? Here are a few suggestions. 

 

What Religion Are You, Really?

What religion are you, really? Just for fun, why don't we find out?

Seeing as they're mostly “user-created”, these quizzes shouldn't be taken too seriously. I have a religion I'm very happy with, which is not the one some quizzes have assigned to me. I just find it fun to see how well the answers match the truth. I feel the same way about horoscopes.

 Belief-O-Matic

I'll admit to being biased toward Beliefnet.com because I've been moderating forums for them for ten years, but they do manage to get some of the smaller details of the different beliefs right. I like how you can indicate exactly how important a point is to you, because that can make a huge difference. Some might find it off-putting that most of the results represented Christianity, but there are at least two reasons for that-

1. Beliefnet is based in the US, a country where a good 78% (give or take) identify themselves as Christians of some form. They might not all be practicing, but this is how they answered the latest Pew* Forum on Religion and Public Life, and
2. At the time this quiz was written, Christianity was the largest religion in the world. I say 'was' because, depending on which websites you read, Islam has surpassed Christianity's 2.1-billion population.

They do seem to be partial to Quakers, which I found a bit odd. There were also a couple of questions-specifically, what someone has to do to be 'saved' and what happens after death-that were a bit confusing in that none of the answers really stated what I believed, but there was not a 'none of the above' option. It's an interesting place to start looking, though.

Beliefnet has some good newsletters from different spiritual perspectives, if they're spiritual at all.Some other great sites-

http://www.patheos.com/

http://www.religioustolerance.org

Here's another quiz that is actually pretty accurate.

http://quizfarm.com/quizzes/Religion/Connacht/which-is-the-right-religion-for-you-new-version/#

I like how it was formatted-a range between “agree” and “disagree” rather than a solid yes/no. The results are true except for one thing-I'm not even close to being a Satanist!

And, well, this site is just silly.

http://www.quizgalaxy.com/quiz/47/

It said I was “spiritual, not religious”. This isn't true, but I don't see a site with quizzes like “What will you write on the chalkboard?” to be all that serious.

What do you think? Are any of these quizzes accurate?

Urban legends debunked-Food

Like I said in a previous post, most people I know get a kick out of reading urban legends. These are essentially rumors that are generally harmless but seem to get passed back and forth over and over again despite efforts to disprove them. Sometimes they make sense-like the one about finding things in Halloween candy-, but others are just plain silly. Here are a few of the more believable urban legends I've found and the truth behind them.



UL-Coke used to contain cocaine.
This is true to a point. The drink we now call "Coca-Cola" did have trace amounts of cocaine, but that was because it was marketed at a time when many medicines (which was Coke's initial purpose) contained cocaine. This was in 1885, long before any harmful effects of the drug were discovered. The company changed the syrup's formula several times before they were able to completely remove the cocaine, but even the trace amounts that were in there before weren't strong enough to do any harm.


UL-Apple seeds are harmful because they contain cyanide.
Again, this is true to a point. There is a small amount of a cyanide compound in the pits of some kinds of fruit, but it doesn't pose any danger. Not only would you have to break through the extremely-hard shells of the seeds to get to the poison, you would have to eat a *lot* of them to have any harmful effects. It's similar to the sugar-in-the-gas-tank rumor-it's *possible* to cause harm, but you'd have to use completely unrealistic amounts for anything to happen.
Peach pits, on the other hand, do contain a potentially-harmful amount of poison, but it's highly unlikely anyone is going to accidentally swallow one.



UL-When it comes to dietary supplements and weight loss products, “natural” and "herbal" mean "safe".
Not necessarily. Perhaps they might not be as bad about this as "artificial" pills, they can still interact negatively with other medicines you're taking. For example, my husband can't have anything with grapefruit because of the interaction with his heart medicine. Grapefruit is natural. Also, some people are sensitive to caffeine, which is something a lot of supplements have. You would need to read the back of the bottle and do your homework for an herbal medicine just as you would an “artificial” one.
Plus, herbal supplements aren't evaluated by the FDA for safety *or* effectiveness. That alone should give you pause.



UL-Coke is so acidic it can eat corrosion off of a car battery,
I've had to do this several times, albeit only on a small amount of corrosion. Soda can be effective in *loosening* corrosion so you can knock it off piece by piece, but it does not "eat through it".  The loosening happens because of the *carbonation*, not the acidic content. Perrier or any other “sparkling” beverage will do the same thing,

What sorts of “urban legends” have you heard? Are they scary, funny or just plain odd?

Who Says Animals Don't Feel For Their Humans?

There's no doubt that animals can hold a special place in our lives. A lot of people, however don't understand the profound connection that can form between animals and “their humans”. They might say they love their pets, but they don't see how much animals can truly feel for their owners. A Facebook wall post led me to a website that describes these connections to a tee.

You cannot look at this and tell me that animals don't feel the loss of their humans. Some people think animals aren't intelligent or emotional enough, for this, but I think this video would prove them wrong.

http://blog.petflow.com/this-dogs-human-passed-away-what-happened-next-is-unbelievable/

It's nothing like this, but I remember coming home after having spent a month in the hospital and having to sleep downstairs on a makeshift bed because I couldn't climb the stairs. Missy, my brown tabby, was at the end of the bed every day when I woke up, almost as though she were making sure I didn't leave again. Yes, I'm tearing up as I'm typing this.

This one is a bit long, but can you imagine how awesome it would be to be able hug a lion and hold it like a teddy bear as you slept? That's how it happens for this wildlife expert who calls himself “the lion whisperer”. The lions know him by sight and, while they appear to be attacking him, they are just playing with him the way a German Shepherd would with its owner. In contrast, my cats have scratched me so much that I still have scars. To get a good look at this amazing story, here's the video.

http://blog.petflow.com/this-man-walked-right-up-to-a-wild-lion-and-did-the-craziest-thing-ever/

Most of the “cuddly stuff” is in the beginning, but it's really interesting to see how this man interacts with these wild and normally-dangerous creatures.

Note: I'm sure I don't have to tell you this, but do not try anything like this at home! In North Carolina there was a man a few years ago who kept a tiger as a pet from the time it was a cub. It was largely tamed, but it ended up attacking and killing a 10-year-old boy. “Tamed” and “domesticated” are not the same thing!

Speaking of which-

You may remember a story a few years ago about Roy Horn of Siegfried and Roy being attacked by one of their tigers during a show. At first it wasn't clear whether or not Roy was going to make it, but he's recovered significantly in the ten years since the incident- a lot more than anyone thought he would. What I find most interesting is that, while most of us assumed it was an attack, Roy says it wasn't. Apparently he had passed out on stage and Montecore-the gorgeous white tiger who's been part of their show for years-grabbed him by the neck and tried to drag him offstage. Roy says he was acting on the feline instinct of grabbing a baby by the scruff of the neck and carrying it to safety, but, for obvious reasons, this only caused more damage. The recovery Roy made is nothing short of miraculous; the fact that he can walk, talk and even perform magic again is inspirational in and of itself! Ten years later, Roy and Montecore are still the best of friends. For more details, visit http://www.lasvegassun.com/vegasdeluxe/2013/sep/30/siegfried-roy-revelations-10th-anniversary-tiger-i/.

Urban Legends Debunked-Animals

The popularity of sites like Snopes and shows like Mythbusters can both attest to the fact that people like to hear about urban legends. These "facts" are usually harmless stories that go around and are fun to hear, even if they're proven false. In this series, I'm going to go over a category of urban legends I've heard and the truth behind them. This particular installment involves our four- or more-legged friends.


UL-Bulls are angered by the color red.
Fact-Bulls, like many other animals, are colorblind. Yes, bulls do get upset when the matador in a bullfight waves a red cape but it's the waving motion that bothers them, not the color.


UL-Turkeys are so stupid that they watch the rain for so long that they drown.
Fact-Not true. Sure, they might be as dumb as bricks, but they don't look up at the rain until they drown. Believe it or not, they actually *can't* look up like that because they don't have what is called "binocular vision"-that is, they can't focus both eyes on the same thing because their eyes are on the sides of their heads rather than the front. Even if they could focus, they really could care less if it rains. They'll just run from it, not watch it.


UL-A dog's mouth is cleaner than a human's.
Fact-There's no scientific proof for this, so it's up to you whether or not you want Fido to lick your kids. I didn't like having my roommate's dog lick me, but that's because he would eat out of the cat box.


UL-Milk and cream are really good for cats.
Fact- Cats are lactose-intolerant. They may love the taste of your yogurt and perhaps the occasional nip is fine, but dairy products are generally not good for cats.


UL-Female praying mantises always decapitate the males they mate with.
Fact: As much fun as it is to watch men wince when they hear this, it's not entirely true. They do sometimes eat the male for extra protein (?), but not always. Feel free to keep teasing your boyfriend, though; it helps keep them in line!

UL-Birds don't like the smell of humans and will reject eggs or baby birds who have it.

Fact- This isn't true. If you see a small bird on the ground, it's probably there because it is trying to learn to fly. She's won't starve because her parents are watching and feeding her. It's best to avoid handling birds unless you find one that is hurt or sick.

If a bird were to abandon her nest for a few days after human contact, it would be because she sees that the eggs have been moved and is afraid of an intruder, not because of the smell.

If you want to read more urban legends and “de-bunking”, visit http://www.snopes.com/critters/wild/wild.asp.

Tips For Choosing A Wedding Dress Part 3

(Continued from Part 2)

-Look for deals whenever you can. For instance, I got my dress for a drastically reduced price because the shop was about to go out of business. Major designers will often have specials or shows, so research when these are. Also, you might be able to get a discount from a retailer if you take advantage of sales or store policies such as having alterations done on-site or getting your bridesmaid dresses from the same shop. If you live in a smaller town, you or your family might know someone who can get you a discount on either your dress or some other aspect of the wedding. If you're only going for a basic veil, you can often find them in “regular” stores as opposed to bridal boutiques. Every little bit of savings helps.

Also, don't stop at your dress. Since the dress I wore in my sister's wedding was very “prom-like”, it really helped to shop when prom dresses went on sale. Some people might look down on second-hand stores, but don't immediately rule out a bridal consignment shop because you may be able to find a great dress (for yourself or a maid) at a good price. As expensive as some bridesmaid dresses are and as tough times have been on some of our pocketbooks, the effort will be appreciated.

-Give yourself plenty of time to pick out a dress, but don't start too early. A good idea is to wait until the venue and reception are arranged because you will be better able to “tailor” your dress accordingly. However, you don't want to wait too much longer than that because you might find yourself in a pinch for time. Also, remember that specially-ordered dresses can take several months to come in. Even if you buy one off the rack, alterations can take a while to complete. The same goes for bridesmaid dresses, especially if you have a large party or some of them live far away.

-Don't bring a whole gaggle of friends with you to pick out your dress. As much fun as it might be to hear a bunch of people oohing and ahhing over your dress, you don't want too many opinions at once. Bring one or two people you can trust to tell you the truth about how you look.

-Don't let yourself be pressured into buying or wearing a dress you don't love. If someone else is footing the bill they definitely have a say, but you should make what you want known.

Hopefully these tips will make picking out a wedding dress to be as fun and stress-free as possible. Good luck and, again, congratulations!

Tips For Choosing A Wedding Dress, Part 2

(Continued from Part 1)

-Know what you want in a dress ahead of time. I don't mean that you have to have your perfect wedding dress pictured in your head; in fact, that might make things more difficult because it will be hard to find an exact match. You will, however, want to have an idea of what you want in a dress. A lot is going to depend on your figure and what parts of your body you want to accentuate the most. Do you want the skirt to be straight or flared? If you choose a flared one, do you want the crinoline built in? That will at least cut out one extra undergarment. What sort of silhouette (A-line, halter, empire waist, etc)? Do you want one with sleeves, or no? Straps or no? Can you wear a bra with it? For me, not wearing a bra is not an option, nor were “pasties” or other things for smaller-breasted women. Color-white, off-white, ivory etc? I wore white because, dammit, I could. What kind of embellishments do you want, if any? I know it's a lot to think about, but it really helps to have an idea of what you're looking for when you walk into the shop, especially if you have an appointment with a consultant.

Also, consider what to wear when you go shopping. If there's a particular accessory you want to wear-for instance, your mother's veil or necklace-, bring it with you so you can see how they look with your dress. If you're prone to crying when you find the perfect dress, I'd avoid wearing eye makeup that can run and stain. This isn't a problem for me, but it might be for you. It may also help not to wear lipstick for similar reasons.

-Consider how the dress will look in photographs. Some fabrics can look great in person but not so much in pictures. Does it flatter from all angles? If the shop you're visiting allows it (some don't), bring a camera and have a friend take pictures. This will give you a better idea of how the dress will look to others than a mirror would.

-Take the opinions of your intended and family into consideration, but don't let them pressure you. Like I said above, I was, um, qualified to wear a white wedding dress. My family wouldn't have made a big deal of it had I not been, but some families would.

-Look for fit rather than number size. Many shops will recommend that you try on dresses about two sizes larger than what you normally wear because of some of the undergarments (whale-boning for breast support, crinolines, girdles, etc) that are often worn under the dress. Even if you don't wear any sort of special underwear, wedding dresses may be sized differently “regular” clothes. Also, you're not just going to be standing; you'll be sitting, eating, possibly dancing, etc. Be sure you can do these things in your dress.

Tips For Choosing A Wedding Dress Part 1

Congratulations, you're engaged! Now what? Some of us dream about what we want for our wedding, but we don't always realize how much time and preparation can go into creating the day we want. I personally didn't have many ideas about my wedding, but I did know that I wanted to find the perfect wedding dress. Even though you're only going to be wearing this dress once, you'll be wearing it on what some consider to be the biggest and most memorable day of your life. There are a ton of details that go into picking out a wedding dress, even if you're going for a simple wedding. I'm no expert, but here are a few suggestions.

-Get a dress that fits you now. I know some people plan on losing a bunch of weight so they can fit into a smaller dress, but there's really no reason to get fixated on numbers. Also, what if you don't lose all the weight, or lose it in the wrong places? Instead, buy a dress that fits you now; you can always have it taken in if you need to. But, at the same time-

-Take into account any changes you might go through. I've known people who started on medication such as birth control and had their breasts expand in a way that didn't fit with their dresses. I had a similar problem and, while I was able to wear the dress, the seamstress had to make a lot of alterations that may not have been possible had I picked a different style. You might not be able to predict such things but, if you can, keep them in mind. It's a lot easier to take a dress in than to let it out.

-Have a budget in mind beforehand. Don't try on dresses you know you can't afford because you don't want to fall in love with one and not be able to get it.

-Be sure your dress doesn't take up your entire attire budget. Remember that it's not just the dress you'll be wearing-you'll be wearing shoes, jewelry, a veil. I managed to find a five-way bra I could wear with my low-backed dress, but it wasn't cheap. Also, it's almost a given that you'll need alterations. Even if you're not short like I am, most dresses will require at least some sort of hemming or adjustment. You want to set aside plenty of money and time for that.

-If you go to a bridal shop to try on dresses, it can help to make an appointment with a sales associate. Shopping for a wedding dress isn't like shopping for a party or prom dress; there are so many variables I've mentioned in this article that you're going to want help from someone who knows what they're doing. Stores such as David's Bridal have consultants on staff to help with these things, but you have to make an appointment in advance. If you do go this route, ask about the cost. Most of the time the consultants are store employees that make a regular wage plus commission, but this isn't always the case. If the store allows it, be prepared to give a tip because this person will be doing a lot more for you than you'd need to pick out other types of clothes.

Continued in part 2. 

Christmas Traditions

What sorts of holiday traditions do you have? For instance, do you put up a Christmas tree? Stockings by the chimney and cookies for Santa?

As for presents, do you open them on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day?

As for services, do you go to church on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day? Is there a special meal you eat to celebrate? Do you have family and friends over? Or, are you like a lot of my friends back home who do nothing at all? I ask because I get a lot of enjoyment out of hearing how other people live and thought you might too. I don't know much about other holidays (Hanukkah, etc), so feel free to tell me about those too.

When we were kids, we put up the Christmas tree and put our wrapped presents under it. My dad would put up all kinds of Christmas lights up outside, as would everyone else in the neighborhood. At least once a week or so we would drive around to see particular houses that were known to have elaborate light displays and see if we could find anything new. We especially got a kick out of going to the country to see these two houses that had a running “contest” as to who could make the most outlandish outdoor display. I think one year I counted 16 Santa faces, 12 Nativity scenes, about 20 reindeer and all sorts of elves and candy canes. And this was in one yard. It must be nice to have that much time and money on your hands!

We weren't raised as Christians-at least, we didn't go to church past a certain point-, but we took part in the traditional American celebration. More than anything it was a time to get together and give gifts to the people we love. We did the whole Santa-and-stockings thing well past the time when a lot of others would have stopped; we didn't believe in Santa anymore, but it was still fun to go through the motions as though we did. Plus, my nephew was born when I was 12 and we went all out for him.

I remember my brother-in-law telling me that he hated the idea of Santa Claus because he felt Christmas was supposed to be about Jesus and Jesus alone. He didn't want my nephews to sit on Santa's lap or do the other things that then-one-year-olds do because he wanted them to know what Christmas was “really” about.

My sister eventually got him to step back by telling him that she would make sure that the boys knew that Santa and Jesus had nothing to do with each other and that the birth of Jesus was the “important” part of the holiday. Santa was just a silly American celebration while Jesus was the savior of the world. This is pretty common among my religious friends and what I plan on doing when and if I have children.

Overall, holidays are what you make of them. They can be as sacred or profane; fun or boring; lonely or loving, whatever-it's how you want to observe them, if you observe them at all. Things have the meaning we give them and there's nothing anyone else can do to take that away. Ultimately, it's all up to you.

Do-It-Yourself Oatmeal Face And Body Scrub

Do you love natural exfoliators, but don't love the prices you pay at the store? Is there someone on your list that loves bath products, but is allergic to some of the ingredients in commercial blends? Here's one you can make from things you may already have in your cabinet.

Lavender, Oatmeal and Tea Tree Oil Face and Body Scrub

¼ cup coarsely-ground oatmeal. Quick oats or slightly-cracked whole oats work best.

2 teaspoons honey or agave nectar

5 drops each of lavender and tea tree essential oils (or 10 drops of a blend, which can usually be found in drug stores).

In a small glass jar, combine the agave or honey with the oats and stir until well mixed. Once the oats have absorbed the liquid, stir in the oil.

This can be given as a gift or kept as a treat for yourself.

The best thing about scrubs like this is that they kill germs that can cause breakouts, but they don't irritate your skin the way alcohol-based antiseptics do. The only thing I see that could irritate sensitive skin is lavender, in which case you can use another essential oil. It's best to make small batches of food-related beauty products, but the ingredients are generally not very expensive. The agave is also rather good in hot tea. Enjoy!

Quotes About Female Friendship

As happy as we may be in our romantic lives, there's just something about having a good friend that adds dimension to your life. Here are some quotes about this very thing.

True friends are those who really know you but love you anyway.-Edna Buchanan, author

It's the ones you can call up at 4 am that matter.-Marlene Dietrich, actress and singer

Friends are the family we choose for ourselves.-Edna Buchanan, author

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.-Oprah Winfrey, author and television host

A friend is one who walks in when others walk out.-Walter Winchell, journalist and commentator

Besties before testes.-”Jane Bingham”, Drop Dead Diva

Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend.-Albert Camus, French author and journalist

Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.-Helen Keller, author and political activist

It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.-Ralph Waldo Emerson, author

Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies.-Aristotle

A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down.-Arnold Glasow, author

There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate.-Linda Grayson, author

There is nothing like puking with somebody to make you into old friends.-Sylvia Plath, author

True friends are like diamonds-bright, beautiful, valuable and always in style.-Nicole Richie, reality TV train wreck

I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. -Stand By Me

Friends should be like books-few, but hand-selected.-C.J. Langerhoven, author

Never explain-your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway.-Elbert Hubbard, author and philosopher

So long as the memory of certain beloved friends lives in my heart, I shall say that life is good.-Helen Keller, author and political activist

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.-Dr. Seuss

Friendship between women can take different forms. It can run like a river, quietly and sustainingly through life; it can be an intermittent, sometime thing; or it can explode like a meteor, altering the atmosphere so that nothing ever feels or looks the same again.-Mary Haskell, author and actress

Friendship is the sweetest form of love.-Annie Gottlieb, author

Charity Emails-Help Or Hoax?

“X organization will donate 10 cents to Y charity for every time this email is forwarded.”

“Click a button on X website and help fund a mammogram for women in need.”

“Play a word game to help people in need. For every right answer, Z sponsors will donate to A charity.”

“'Like' this page to help a little boy in China with cancer.”

We've all seen them. It seems that a day can't go by without at least one “plea for help” appearing in our inboxes. Donate to save kids with cancer. Repost this picture or status message to show your support for animals in need/women in war-torn countries/veterans/ etc, with or without promises to help a particular charity. As much as we all want to feel that we're doing something good in the world, how much will these messages really help? What, if anything, happens when we forward/click/play?

Any time you see an email that claims to donate money to a cause for every time it is forwarded, ignore it. At this time, there is no such thing as an “email tracking program”. Even if there were, there's nothing saying that the cause is real or, if it is, whether it is still going on. As for causes such as “this kid is sick/missing” or a particular fundraising drive, the objective has often been met long before the emails stop going out. Don't get me wrong-sometimes these emails raise awareness about a real problem and inspire others to action. The person who is sending you these messages means well and probably wouldn't have passed it on if they didn't think it would do some good. It's just that message tracking programs are yet to be invented, so any benefit that comes from them will be indirect. That, and sometimes the stories are inspirational.

As for whether or not “liking” a page will donate to someone's care-it's true that Facebook has the technology to track the number of “likes” a page gets, but that doesn't mean that anything will be done to help whatever cause is being promoted. It's most likely a ruse to get people to like someone's Facebook page and nothing more. The same thing goes with 'shares'. That doesn't necessarily mean that your support has gone unnoticed or that someone else won't be inspired to help. Also, sometimes the plea is real. Something good can come of it, but don't feel pressured to pass something on. The implications that someone who doesn't “pass it on” doesn't care/believe in God/whatever that are often tacked onto the end of such pleas don't mean anything. There's a difference between being ashamed (often said about the ones involving Jesus) and not wanting to participate in a chain letter.

As for the messages about clicking a button or playing a game at a particular website benefitting charity, there are some truth to these claims. The Hunger Site foundation and its many related sites operate on the idea that, for every person who visits their site and clicks a button, the sponsors that advertise on that site will donate something (exactly what varies by site) toward whatever cause is being promoted. The games on the Freerice.com website (set up by the UN World Food Programme) are similar in that sponsors have pledged to donate for every correct answer to quizzes in a number of different subjects. This is vastly different from the 'email forwarding' messages for the same causes because, while it is not yet possible to track how many times a particular message has been sent, it is possible to track how many people have visited your website. To help even more, most of these sites have an online store that offers a portion of the proceeds (exactly how much varies by site) toward the cause being promoted. I've bought from these stores and I can tell you that, even if the portion is very small, the goods are of a very high quality and are usually something you can't get anywhere else. If nothing else, you'll come out with a great sushi set!

If you want to “vet” a story you've heard or want to give the person who sent it to you a “heads-up”, visit Snopes.com and Hoax-slayer.com. If you're unsure about a charity mentioned in a message or on a website, visit http://www.charitynavigator.org/

Bachelorette Parties That Don't Involve Strippers

I know what you're thinking. “No strippers? But that's the best part!” This very well may be true but, for some of us, it's also the most expensive. Also, a bride who is shy and conservative might get a bit anxious in a sea of dancing hotties, as well as feeling odd if she didn't want her future husband to have strippers at his party. I won't comment on that, but I will say that there are plenty of other ways to make that “last night out” memorable. Here are a few ways to celebrate your friend's upcoming nuptials with “just the girls”.

-Have an old-fashioned slumber party. Rent movies, eat pizza and ice cream and talk about boys. If you must have strippers, rent Magic Mike. Seeing Matt Bomer shirtless just adds to the fun.

-Improv night. If you're not familiar with “improv comedy”, it's a type of sketch comedy that involves the audience in a show that is completely made up on the spot. Think “Whose Line Is It Anyway?”, the British and American versions. Tell someone on the staff what you're doing so they can be sure to drag the bride-to-be on stage and have her “help” with the show. If the club allows it, take pictures and/or videos for laughs and/or blackmail later!

-Karaoke night. Go to a local bar or club that has karaoke and sing your hearts out in front of everyone-complete strangers included. You can go up in a group or sing on your own. You don't have to be a good singer; in fact, it's probably even more fun if you can't carry a tune in a bucket! If you don't want to go out, you can rent a machine or use a computer program to do the same thing to bring the silliness to your home.

-Spa day! Get pedicures, massages, facials, the works. This can be expensive too, but a lot of spas offer specials and discounts.

-Dance class. I'm not talking about ballroom dancing, although that might be interesting too. See if you can find a local class in pole dancing so your lady friends can learn to dance for their men. If you'd rather stay home, you might be able to find someone to give private lessons or get DVDs everyone can use for future reference! Also, brick-and-mortar erotica stores such as Starship sell portable “stripper poles”; go in together on one of these poles (they can be expensive), have a silly dance contest and give the pole to the bride-to-be as a gift. If nothing else, you'll get a good laugh.

-Fortune telling. If you're comfortable with such things, it might be fun to treat your friends to a night of future predictions. Find a mystic to give everyone a Tarot card or palm reading. Even if you don't take them seriously, it can be fun to hear what “lies ahead”.

As you can see, half-naked men aren't the only ingredients for a great “last night out”! Have fun, and invite me!

Italian Tuna Melts

This delicious recipe is sponsored by StarKist.

Of all the recipes that exist on Pinterest and Google, you wouldn’t imagine that it would be so challenging for a girl to find a meal to cook for a dinner date. Keep in mind this is a girl who has eight cookbooks. The collection of eight includes two cookbooks put together by her mom and older sister presented as “gifts” to get more domesticated, and one is a “Campbell’s 1-2-3 Dinner” cookbook held together by duct tape because it caught on fire while sitting on a heated stovetop in college. The remaining five books sit prettily stacked on top of the refrigerator as part of the decor.

My cooking skill level is low.

Oh, Paleo.

Not only did I put pressure on myself to find a delicious, yet not too challenging, dinner recipe, I also wanted it to be Paleo-friendly. The man friend for whom I was cooking was following that cave man diet - the chicken, bacon, fruit, nuts, and veggies meal plan - the “Oh, c’mon, no cheese at all!?” diet.

Since I’m a culinary novice who struggles to keep her chef’s hat on during cooking-type situations, I resorted to a family favorite: Italian Tuna Melts. The little sammies are healthy, scrumptious and simple to prepare. My special guest can either ditch the bread or ditch his diet for the evening, but at least he’ll be happy to know he’s getting his protein.

Italian Tuna Melts

Ingredients are easy to gather. I was thankful to not have to embark on a frustrating grocery store quest of searching for 10 different herbs and spices. It was a quick jaunt as I picked up the following to mix into the tuna salad:

1. Chopped artichoke hearts
2. Olive oil
3. Lemon juice and zest
4. Diced red onion
5. Chopped celery
6. Handful of baby spinach
7. StarKist Tuna Creations; any flavor, Lemon Pepper, Sweet & Spicy or Ranch will do

Make the melts by:

1. Toasting sliced English muffins or any bread that you want to sink your teeth into
2. Sandwiching a scoop of tuna salad between each slice
3. Topping with sliced tomato and provolone cheese (cheese optional for the cave man, cheese non-negotiable for the girl)
4. Heating the sammies under the broiler for the cheese to melt

Serve and bon appetit!

Online Dating Safety Tips

Dating online can be exciting, but also confusing. Here are a few things you should keep in mind when meeting someone new.


-Make the date something small at first, like coffee or lunch during the day. Meeting someone on your lunch break gives you an "out" if you don't care for the person. If you do, you can always make another date.

-Meet in a public place. If possible, "double" with a friend. This also forces you to drive your own car as opposed to having to get in theirs or have them in yours. If you can't double, at least let a friend or roommate know where you're going and when you plan to be back.

-Be careful about how you talk to other people in the room as well as your date. You don't want to be overly flirtatious because, even if you aren't saying these things (like joking about the waiter's last name being "Finger" or whatnot) to your date, he could get the idea that you're the kind of person who would fool around like that with strangers and take advantage of that. I know this seems extreme and overly cautious, but better safe than sorry.

-Take his number rather than giving out yours. Keep your home phone number, personal email, address to yourself until you feel more comfortable. Don't let him pick you up or pick him up, don't let him take you home or come in until you know him bitter.

-This should be obvious, but don't drink too much, leave a drink unattended or accept a drink you did not see poured. In fact, that's another good reason to get together during the day because most people don't have alcohol on their lunch break. It may be "five o'clock somewhere", but not here.

-Be careful about how much or what information you give. Not readily giving out your address and phone number is obvious, but those aren't the only things you should keep under wraps. I'm a very open person, so there are times when I've given too much information without realizing it. The story about getting a dragonfly tattoo on Spring Break after five shots of tequila or might be funny, but it really isn't something you want to tell someone you don't know very well. Ditto the one about how you can drink your sisters under the table when it comes to liquor (true story!) but get a buzz from beer. Things like this can give a potential date the wrong idea. I probably don't have to tell you what could happen if the wrong person heard that last one.

-Talk with him on the phone before meeting in person. As well as hearing his voice, this can give you an idea about whether or not he's really the person you thought he was. It's not hard for someone to be a lot more suave/funny/intelligent in writing than in real life, where they don't have the benefit of poetry books within reach or a lucky-in-love friend telling them what to say.

-Don't let the conversation go too deep. Keep it light at first, no matter how strong the “chemistry” is. If he starts to talk about things that make you uncomfortable, end the call and don't talk with him again.

-Don't dominate the conversation. The point of dating-online or otherwise-is to get to know the other person. If you do all the talking and ramble on about your job or your mother, it will bore him out of his mind as well as not give him any chance to tell you anything about himself.

Cute Teen Stars "All Grown Up"

When I was growing up, I remember being slightly envious of “child stars”. I thought they had the perfect lives-they were attractive, rich and popular, while I was a nerd in her “awkward stage”. As it turns out, that sort of thing didn't last. Many of them-Lindsay Lohan, River Phoenix, Corey Haim-ended up in a bad way because of the way their celebrity has affected them. Some of the others were really great for a while, but age wasn't kind and their looks faded as they got older. However, this isn't the case with everyone. Here are a few examples of men who started out in show business when they were young and have just gotten better (and better-looking) with age.

Justin Timberlake. Some of you might remember him as the guy with the curly hair in N'SYNC while others may have seen him as a child on The Mickey Mouse Club. No matter where you first saw him, though, you can't deny that he's grown into a gorgeous young man. Even if you're not a fan of his music, you've got to give him credit for having a great sense of humor about himself. He's hosted Saturday Night Live five times, each time making fun of himself by performing ridiculous 90s style R&B seduction song parodies with Andy Samberg or dancing in front of a store in a really weird costume. I think my favorite costume was a DD breast implant advertising a shop called "Plasticville"! 

Patrick Dempsey. Those of us who grew up in the '80s and early '90s probably saw Patrick with his black hair and blue eyes  in several "teeny-bopper" movies. I think the funniest (and most appropriately-titled!) movie he was in was Loverboy, where he played a pizza delivery guy who made, um, house calls to older women who order "extra anchovies". At 47, he's still got that  thick hair, albeit with a little more gray. These days, he's probably best known for playing Dr Derek Shepard (aka "McDreamy") on Grey's Anatomy. Rumor has it that this season will be his last, but a man with his looks and experience (he's been acting since he was 15!) will have no problem working as long as he wants to.

Neil Patrick Harris. When I was 12, I had a mad crush on him when he was the main character in Doogie Howser, M.D. He played a 16-year-old prodigy doctor who was very well-versed on medicine, but rather awkward when it came to girls and basically being a teenager. I thought he was cute and smart then, but he's even better-looking now. He was 16 at the time, but had been acting in some manner since he was about 10. What I find rather interesting about him is that, despite his many womanizing (How I Met Your Mother) and “hormonal” (Harold and Kumar Go To Whitecastle) characters, he's gay and has been “out” since about 2006. In coming out and being as comfortable with himself as he is, he's a rather good example of the way that being gay doesn't have to be seen as something shameful anymore; people are who they are, and that's all they really need to be.

Who are some of the celebrities you think have gotten better-looking with age?

Interesting Facts About Judaism

I am a Christian, but I've always been interested in Judaism. Aside from being the religion of Jesus, it has so many dimensions the rest of us never thought of. When I moderated a Jewish debate board, I learned a lot of interesting and unusual things. I don't know how "representative" my friends are of the whole, but here are some of the more memorable things they told me.


We could discuss what makes someone a Jew for ages, but a bottom line is that it isn't simply about belief the way it is for other religions. A person can certainly convert, but it often involves a complete lifestyle change (dress, eating etc) and participation on rituals that can take months or years to complete. For this reason, one of my professors told me that people who inquire about conversion   are often turned away at first to ensure that the person fully understands what they're getting into. When you consider how many people adopt things just because X Celebrity does it, it makes perfect sense.


Jewish heritage is passed down through the mother, not the father. If your mom is Jewish, so are you. In this sense, belief and action have nothing to do with it. However, a Jew who has converted to another religion is seen to have "left the family". “Family” is probably a more accurate descriptor than “nation” or “race” because it refers to the way Jews with different customs or from different parts of the world still feel a sense of unity.


While some believe it begins earlier, Judaism views birth as being the beginning of life, not conception as many Christians do. If carrying a pregnancy to term will endanger the mother's life, she is encouraged (some say required) to terminate the pregnancy. That might sound callous to some, but it's important to remember that the fetus is considered a potential life, not a full life as many Christians teach.


I found it interesting to learn that any Jewish person who has not adopted another religion (see "heritage" comment above) can emigrate to Israel and immediately be considered a citizen.


For purposes of observance, the Jewish calendar views days as beginning at sundown. The Sabbath, the day of rest, begins Friday evening and ends Saturday evening.


Since their calendar is lunar rather than solar, Jewish holidays fall on different days each year. Also, holidays technically start on the night before the day appears on the secular calendar. For instance, a holiday noted on August 24 on the calendar actually begins at sundown August 23. For a further explanation of holidays, visit http://www.jewfaq.org/holidayg.htm.


“Kosher” or “kashrut” are words used to describe the dietary and food preparation laws Jews live by. One thing I found particularly interesting is that consuming blood of any kind is forbidden for the same reason some groups refuse blood transfusions-blood is considered to be the “life” or “soul” of a creature. I won't go into detail about the method, but there are strict instructions on how an animal is to be slaughtered to ensure that it suffers no more than it absolutely has to. If you ever have steak at a kosher steakhouse, you may find that it is not as tender as non-kosher steaks because non-kosher steaks come from a part of the animal (mostly toward the back) that contains the sciatic nerve and blood vessels. If you've ever seen the Hebrew National commercial that says they use “no ifs, ands or butts”, this is what they're referring to. While this non-kosher nerve can technically be removed from the meat, it's a very difficult and expensive process a lot of kosher butchers don't go through. 

For more information regarding “kosher” or “kashrut”, see http://www.jewfaq.org/kashrut.htm.
This is just the tip of the iceberg, so consult http://www.jewfaq.org/index.shtml or http://www.beliefnet.com/Faiths/Judaism/index.aspx for more information.

Things To Do With "Just Us Girls"

As much as we love our families, sometimes we need to cut loose and do something fun with just "the girls". I remember going to nightclubs and bars with my girlfriends to dance, play pool and meet guys. Nothing serious for the guys-just a good time. We're in our thirties now. Some have kids, some are married and still others just live a long way away. Needless to say, our nightclubbing days are over. I don't have many girlfriends nearby anymore, so I sometimes miss a good “girl's night”. This might not be the case for you, but it's still good to have things to do with the other women in your life. This can be your sister, your mom, your daughter; it doesn't matter. Here are some ideas.


Have a "girls' night in." Either send the guys out or get together at a single friend's house and watch movies, gossip, eat obscene amounts of ice cream etc. Even better, make it a "slumber party" theme and watch in your "jammies". The movies can be anything you want but don't normally get to watch with the husband and kids around. Bonus points if the movies have a lot of hot men in them. Magic Mike, anyone?


On the same tip as above, have a "viewing party" for a TV series. It doesn't necessarily have to be a "girly" show, either; it can be any show your friends like but you don't get to watch at home. Trashy reality shows or even dramas with good-looking men are also good choices.


If you're into nails, you can get manicures and pedicures. If you don't want to go to a salon, there are several fun design kits that can give the same effect.


When I lived in North Carolina, my friends and I used to go to the local mall and just walk around. We would find the bookstore, plop ourselves down in our favorite section and pass books back and forth. Sometimes we would take a humor book into the coffee area and laugh over it while sipping our cappuccino. You can do the same thing with other types of stores; just go and look around, try things on, laugh over the obscene prices of shoes and just have fun!


Have an adult board game night. This could be with the men or just with the women; whichever way you want, as long as it is a "grown-up" game. You've played enough games of Candyland!


Make cocktails or "mocktails" to go along with everything else. Sure, you can do this anytime, but drinks make everything *that* much more festive!

Now you have ideas for what to do on your next “girl's day”. It doesn't really matter what you do or who you do it with; just as long as you do something just for yourself. You deserve it!

"What's Your Sign?" And Other Lame Pickup Lines

"What's your sign?"


This has to be one of the dumbest pickup lines ever created. Between the one about rearranging the alphabet and God being short one angel, men (and some women!) have been saying cheesy things to attract the opposite sex since the advent of language in general. I suppose thats better than being clubbed over the head and dragged by your hair into someone's cave, but not much.


I majored in communication in college. One of my final projects in video production class was a commercial for Planet Smoothie I'd written for another class. In it, I had a couple of guys yell out some of the lamest pickup lines they could think of as though they were hitting  on random women at a bar. I won't repeat them all because some of them could get me into trouble, but here are some of the, um, cleaner ones. :)

"You must be tired, because you've been running through my mind all day."

"If you were words on a page, you'd be called the fine print."
“Do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your eyes.”
"Nice outfit...it'll look great crumpled up on my floor in the morning."
“Are you okay? I ask because it's a long fall from heaven.”
“If I told you you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?”
“Hi, I'm Mr. Right. I heard you were looking for me?”
“Do you believe in love at first sight? 'Cause I could walk by again.”
“I'm like a Snickers bar: I'm packed with nuts and really satisfy.”
“I'm not drunk; I'm just intoxicated by you.”
“Do you have any <insert ethnicity here> in you? Want some?”
"Somebody'd better call the fire department, 'cause you're smokin'!"
"Are you a traffic ticket? 'Cause you've got 'fine' written all over you."
“You know what would really look good on you? Me!”
"If you were a booger, I'd pick you first."
“I hope you know CPR, 'cause you just took my breath away.”
“Hi, my name is ____; remember it, 'cause you'll be screaming it all night long.”
“I lost my phone number, can I have yours?”
“So, do you have some fries to go with that shake?”
“Can I borrow a quarter? 'Cause I promised my mom I'd call her when I met the girl of my dreams.”
“Here's $30. Drink until I'm good looking and then come talk to me.”
"Well, here I am. What are your other two wishes?"



Bad pickup lines aren't just for men! In college, I went up to a guy wearing a fraternity 'rush' T-shirt playing pool and asked which frat he pledged-I Tappa Keg or I Felta Thigh. In my defense, I was on Spring Break with some friends and did it as a dare. He knew I was joking and wanted my number! I guess pickup lines are a good way to get a feel for someone's sense of humor; I can't imagine anyone thinking they work for anything else!



What are the dumbest pickup lines you've heard?

Awesome Quotes By Women, For Women

Need some inspiration? Here are some of the best 'woman-power' quotes from around the world. You've probably heard some of them before, but they can still lift your spirits.


Something which we think is impossible now is not impossible for another decade.-Constance Baker Motley, the first black woman to become a Federal Judge. 
(I'd say she was right, wouldn't you?)

A woman must not depend upon the protection of a man, but must be taught to protect herself. -Susan B. Anthony, American activist

If you ever want a man to do anything, you have to make him think it was his idea. -My mother

The only things we really regret in life are the risks we don't take.-Ariel (Ann-Margaret in Grumpy Old Men)

Never lose sight of the fact that the most important yardstick of your success will be how you treat other people-your family, friends and coworkers and even strangers you meet along the way.-Barbara Bush, former First Lady

The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart.-Helen Keller

For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, only speak words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.-Audrey Hepburn

Sometimes questions are more important than answers.-Nancy Willard, American poet

Well-behaved women seldom make history.-Laurel Thatcher Ulrich, author (often attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt)

If you have love in your life, it can make up for a great many things that are missing. If you don't have love in your life, it doesn't matter what else there is; it's not enough.-Ann Landers

A career is wonderful, but you can't curl up with it on a cold night.-Marilyn Monroe

Feminism, to me, isn't about bucking tradition so much as being about *choices*. You can choose to be an astronaut or you can choose to be a housewife. It doesn't matter; as long as it was *your* choice. - That one's mine. Like it?