Online Dating Safety Tips

Dating online can be exciting, but also confusing. Here are a few things you should keep in mind when meeting someone new.


-Make the date something small at first, like coffee or lunch during the day. Meeting someone on your lunch break gives you an "out" if you don't care for the person. If you do, you can always make another date.

-Meet in a public place. If possible, "double" with a friend. This also forces you to drive your own car as opposed to having to get in theirs or have them in yours. If you can't double, at least let a friend or roommate know where you're going and when you plan to be back.

-Be careful about how you talk to other people in the room as well as your date. You don't want to be overly flirtatious because, even if you aren't saying these things (like joking about the waiter's last name being "Finger" or whatnot) to your date, he could get the idea that you're the kind of person who would fool around like that with strangers and take advantage of that. I know this seems extreme and overly cautious, but better safe than sorry.

-Take his number rather than giving out yours. Keep your home phone number, personal email, address to yourself until you feel more comfortable. Don't let him pick you up or pick him up, don't let him take you home or come in until you know him bitter.

-This should be obvious, but don't drink too much, leave a drink unattended or accept a drink you did not see poured. In fact, that's another good reason to get together during the day because most people don't have alcohol on their lunch break. It may be "five o'clock somewhere", but not here.

-Be careful about how much or what information you give. Not readily giving out your address and phone number is obvious, but those aren't the only things you should keep under wraps. I'm a very open person, so there are times when I've given too much information without realizing it. The story about getting a dragonfly tattoo on Spring Break after five shots of tequila or might be funny, but it really isn't something you want to tell someone you don't know very well. Ditto the one about how you can drink your sisters under the table when it comes to liquor (true story!) but get a buzz from beer. Things like this can give a potential date the wrong idea. I probably don't have to tell you what could happen if the wrong person heard that last one.

-Talk with him on the phone before meeting in person. As well as hearing his voice, this can give you an idea about whether or not he's really the person you thought he was. It's not hard for someone to be a lot more suave/funny/intelligent in writing than in real life, where they don't have the benefit of poetry books within reach or a lucky-in-love friend telling them what to say.

-Don't let the conversation go too deep. Keep it light at first, no matter how strong the “chemistry” is. If he starts to talk about things that make you uncomfortable, end the call and don't talk with him again.

-Don't dominate the conversation. The point of dating-online or otherwise-is to get to know the other person. If you do all the talking and ramble on about your job or your mother, it will bore him out of his mind as well as not give him any chance to tell you anything about himself.

Could You Be Dating A Psychopath And Not Know It?

This weekend, I watched a National Geographic documentary called 'Science of Evil'. In it, experts described the forces behind the worst of human conduct-situational suggestibility (i.e. prisons), self-preservation, brain defects, etc. One word that came up quite often was psychopath. While it's no surprise that a person like Ted Bundy or the BTK killer would be given that label, I found it interesting that many psychopaths can go through society relatively unnoticed. They might not be killers, but they have no conscience and can easily hurt someone through emotional, sexual and financial means without a second thought. Psychopaths make up less than 1% of the population, so most of us will not come across one. They are, however, very charming and can cause untold damage to any woman they get involved with. The 'true crime documentary' nut in me finds this both interesting and scary at the same time. I'm not trying to scare anyone, just inform.

Let me make something clear: although many people use the terms interchangeably, there are slight differences between a psychopath and a sociopath. For instance, psychopathy is thought to be something a person is born with ('nature') whereas sociopathy is thought to be influenced by a person's environment ('nurture'). Also, while neither will feel remorse or guilt for their bad acts toward humanity as a whole, sociopaths can form emotional attachments and thus feel bad for things that hurt those particular people. Psychopaths, being much more 'calculating' and deliberate in their misdeeds, cannot. It's very difficult to prove these things, of course, but these are some of the ideas psychiatrists have come up with in recent years. Since I'm talking about 'shared' traits, I'm using the term 'psychopath'.

The list varies according to who you ask, but here are some of the common characteristics of psychopaths.

• Using charisma or superficial charm to attract and lure potential 'victims'
• Shallow emotions, often 'faking it'
• Complete inability to take responsibility for their own actions, often 'projecting' blame onto others. This often leads to poor job performance, recklessness with money, the law and/or sex, etc
• A constant need for excitement (i.e. hurting people for the 'rush')
• Having a 'short fuse'-getting very temperamental over trivial things
• Deceitful and manipulative with little regard to being 'found out'
• Jekyll/Hyde tendencies-drastic change from decent to violent with little warning
• No feelings of guilt or remorse of any kind
• An inability to love or form emotional connections
• Extreme egocentricity and selfishness
• Complete lack of regard for rules, norms, other people, etc
• Lack of empathy in general

It's important to remember that we all do some of these things at some point in time. I know I've lied to get out of trouble, 'faked' emotions, experienced schadenfreude* or projected things onto other people. The difference is that 'normal' people do these things occasionally while psychopaths do them all the time. Also, we probably feel bad if we hurt someone. Psychopaths don't. They know right from wrong; they just don't care.

Before you think, 'why in the world would I get involved with someone like this?', psychopaths can be very charming when it suits them. Ted Bundy, for instance, was smart, handsome, successful-attractive by most women's standards. He used this to his advantage in a big way. However, remember that psychopaths aren't necessarily violent or become serial killers; they do, however, get under people's skin, use them and then toss them aside once they are no longer useful.

Here's a rather interesting article:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/199401/charming-psychopath

Like I said, it's very unlikely that you will meet a true psychopath. I've met people who come pretty close, though, and I'd rather you not have that experience.

*Schadenfreude-taking pleasure at someone else's misfortune.

5 Great Date Places In New York

Dating, regardless of what age you are and what type of relationship if any at all you may be seeking, is just plain challenging. Imagine dating when you live in a huge city and have a very busy schedule as well. With the tremendous success of the internet, online dating service and finding that special person just for you has grown so much. New York singles dating is growing for the main reason that most are too busy to trouble themselves with going to clubs to find companionship. Once you have found that special someone that you connect with and wish to learn a bit more about them, meeting them for New York state dating is ideal. Look for places to meet your new friend that are fun, safe and quiet enough so that you an both hear each other to speak and get to know one another. Be you at all times and relax, you will have a great time!

1. Coney Island- One such place that is perfect and has that romantic quality, is Coney Island. This destination will put some fun into your New York online dating scene. This location bodes rides, and aquarium and beautiful fireworks in the summer season. The smells alone of the area take you back to being a child and you both can enjoy some delicious snacks while there as well.

2. Central Park- Online dating New York can come alive when you take the dates outdoors. The scenery is perfect almost any time of year and it is one of the best places to start a conversation with. You can have a nice picnic weather permitting or enjoy walking your dogs together here. During the fall season, this is an ideal place to go on a date and take in all the beautiful foliage.

3. Fun Restaurants- Dating online in New York can be so much fun when you step up your plan and meet in person over a bite to eat. Food brings people together, it shows you what things they like and makes coming up with great conversations a cinch. Find places that will encourage you both to work together such as one that you can participate in making your meals or a sushi bar.

4. Broadway Shows- Online Dating New York services are simple to get involved in and who knows, you just may have a fun in the end? One great way to ensure you will have a great time with your online dating in Rochester, New York adventures. Anytime of year you can find tons of shows that are live are truly one of kind and can only be found in the big apple.

5. Times Square- Take your dating new online service York to another level by visiting this exciting hotspot! You can walk around the streets and find dining, entertainment and great photo opportunities. This is one way to turn up the fun on your free online dating New York process!

Attention Single Women Looking For Men

The world of dating today is significantly different then it was many years ago. Single women are no longer made to feel as though it is the duty of the man to approach you or ask you out. Instead, many single women today are taking the lead in meeting single men. Society now views a single woman as empowered, which gives women the opportunity to take the lead. If you are a single woman that is looking to capture the interest of single men, consider the following tips as you seek out Mr. Right.

It is widely known that single men love the thrill of the chase when it comes to a woman. Being too available or overly attached at the initial stages of a relationship can quickly drive a man away. Remember to play hard to get, but not so hard that you end up being impossible to catch. Men tend to value the things that require and an effort and starting a relationship fits into this category. If you give a man too much physically or mentally from the get go, there is nothing that will be left to the imagination and the potential for a relationship will quickly fizzle.

There is nothing more unattractive to a single man then a single woman who constantly complains about everything, including the fact that you are single. Men do not have interest in hearing about how much you dislike your coworker or why your friend is on your nerves again. Try sticking to topics that are not only appropriate, but show what you are interested in. Knowing something about sports or any other subject that is thought of as male dominated can impress a man as well. Talking about religion, politics, or past relationships is one of the quickest ways to make a conversation uncomfortable so try to avoid these topics when meeting a single man.

An important tip that single women often forget is that single men like a woman who can flirt. There is a big difference between knowing how to show interest through flirting and presenting yourself as promiscuous. Try to smile often or give a light touch of the hand when the person that you are interested in says something to make you laugh. As mentioned above, men enjoy the feeling of the chase. Knowing how to flirt and make a man feel as though you are interested will add to this feeling.

All of the tips above have one essential item in common. The tips are all centered on the idea of you as the single woman being capable of taking control over the way that a single man views you. There is no reason for you to be someone different then who you are, but there are many reasons to manage the way that you portray what you have to offer. Understanding what single men are looking for in addition to what you are looking for will only strengthen the position that you hold in the complicated world of dating and relationships.

Meeting Men Online

Are you tired of meeting the same sleazy men at your local bar? Does it seem like there are no men left in your town anywhere? Or maybe there are, but you just don't know where to look? Well, the best thing for you to do is to try to meet men online. It's quick, it's easy, and it's painless because you get to control who you meet. It allows you to screen potential boyfriends without having to get all dulled up for a date. You can sift through hundreds of bios until one catches your eye and when it does, then you can make the effort to get dressed up and meet him for a bite to eat or a drink.

So where do you find these men? There are a plethora of dating and social networking sites available on the internet today. If you want to be more discreet about your search for men, you may want to consider using something like Facebook as your database for meeting men. Facebook allows for casual conversation that can be treated as friendly without the assumption that you are solely trying to find a date. This is also great because you get a chance to see your male "Friends" in a casual atmosphere. They don't know you are watching their updates and looking at their pictures because you are considering them as a dating option. They more or less think that you added them as a friend because you had mutual friends and you were just trying to network. By going through a portal like Facebook, there is very minimal pressure when it comes to actually meeting and choosing a date.

Now, there are other sites that are a bit more direct, such as Match.com. Match not only lets the prospects know exactly what you are there fore, it also allows you and your potential mates to fill out surveys and questionnaires about your lives and what you would be like as a mate. By doing this, it enables you to looks for certain personality traits that are important to you.

Match also takes your answers and submits them into a formula that generates what type of personality would best compliment your own in a way that would produce a long-lasting relationship. One may never have thought that such a science could be responsible for generating love, but its been proven to do so by hundreds, maybe even thousands, of happy couples.

No matter which route you take, the more indirect route via Facebook, or a more direct route via Match, it is important that you stay true to yourself. You are a capable, strong, and beautiful woman and anyone would be lucky to have you! The best thing you can do when looking for love, especially online, is to keep your heart open and do not write people off too quickly. Most importantly, do not ever lose sight of who you are or what you deserve. Every women deserves a prince!