Breakup songs

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Anger. Hurt. Frustration. Disappointment.

When it comes to the myriad of emotions surrounding a breakup, they can be overwhelming if we don't find a way to deal with them. One of the most effective ways I have found to 'get the feelings out' (and believe me, I've had to) is to listen to music. There's something about hearing the things you're feeling coming from someone else in 'verse form' that makes you feel understood-'Someone else gets it'. Here are some of the more cathartic songs I have found. Notice that I'm not mentioning any of the 'F*** you' songs, because those are easy enough to find on their own.

One of my favorite 'breakup songs' is 'Similar Features' by Melissa Etheridge. Here is the chorus:

Go on and close your eyes, imagine me there

She's got similar features, with longer hair

And if that's what it takes

To get you through

Go on and close your eyes

It shouldn't bother you

You can hear and read the rest here:

http://www.lyricsfreak.com/m/melissa+etheridge/similar+features_20091610.html

Some would say that it has a 'F*** you' element, but I personally find it more meaningful than that. I suppose that could be because it describes a situation I was in-I had an ex who messed around with a friend of mine shortly before he asked me to take him back. Whenever my friend and I would go places together, people would think we were sisters. Either way, the basic message is, 'Go ahead and think you'll be fine without me. You won't'.

When she first came out, Melissa Etheridge was considered to be rather angry in her songs. For instance, here is another favorite of mine: http://www.lyricsfreak.com/m/melissa+etheridge/like+the+way+i+do_20091607.html

When it comes to 'Please, please take me back', Toni Braxton does a good job in expressing it in 'Un-Break My Heart'. Here's the chorus:

Un-break my heart

Say you'll love me again

Undo this hurt you caused when you walked out the door and walked out of my life

Un-cry these tears

I cried so many nights

Un-break my heart

The rest is here: http://www.lyricsfreak.com/t/toni+braxton/un+break+my+heart_20139061.html

'Dear Lie' by TLC is another good one. There are several theories about what the 'lie' is that they're talking about. (a bad relationship, a guilty conscience, a poor self-image someone instilled in them, etc), but the basic sentiment of 'it's over now, you don't have any power over me anymore' is empowering in and of itself. 

Get out of my mouth

Get out of my head

Get out of my mind

Stop putting words in my head

Get out of my mouth, you're nothing but trouble

Get out of my life

Get outta me, outta me, outta me,

Lie

The rest is here: http://www.lyricsfreak.com/t/tlc/dar+lie+radio+edit_20188124.html

In terms of, “I know you've moved on, but I haven't yet.”, there's 'Someone Like You' by Adele:

Never mind, I'll find someone like you

I wish nothing but the best for you, too

Don't forget me, I beg

I remember you said

“Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead”

“Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead”

This one is quite the tearjerker. The rest is here:

http://www.lyricsfreak.com/a/adele/someone+like+you_20895042.html

Hopefully you will find these songs as helpful as I do. What are some of your favorite 'breakup songs'?

Five ways to get over a breakup

There's a saying that, “it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” That may be, but that doesn't mean that the 'losing' part doesn't hurt while you're dealing with it. Breaking up is never an easy thing to do, but there are a few ways that you can ease any pain you may be feeling.

• Get depressed. Then, get dressed. Let yourself feel sad, angry or whatever is is that you're feeling. If you don't deal with your feelings, they're just going to get worse. However, don't wallow in them for too long.
• Have a 'chick flick' party. When I had a particularly difficult breakup, my friends consoled me by throwing me a 'chick flick' party. We got together in my dorm room with several pints of ice cream, candy, soda and The First Wives' Club. This movie is one of the ultimate 'girl power' movies, which made it perfect for our 'get over him' theme. Few things make you forget the bad parts of a relationship better than Ben and Jerry's! For some reason, Cherry Garcia seems to have a particularly therapeutic effect. :)
• Remove any 'evidence' of him that you can. While you may not be able to get rid of all reminders of your ex (especially living, breathing ones!), there's no reason that you have to keep everything lying around. Put away the jewelry he gave you, that tape of love songs he made and any other 'reminders' that you can. I'm not saying throw them out because many of them do have value to you, but it might be easier to get over him if you don't have to look at his face all the time. You can bring everything back out later on.
• Enlist the help of your friends. A breakup is a good time to lean on your friends. That is one reason the 'chick flick' party was so helpful; my friends refused to allow me to wallow in self-pity and made sure I had a good time. Find ways to spend more time with your friends, particularly if you weren't able to when you were with your ex.
• Stay away from the old haunts. That nice little bistro you went to on your first date is now officially off-limits. At least, it is until you can walk by it without thinking of him. When you're trying to get over a breakup, one of the last things you need is something that will trigger wistful thoughts of the good times you had together. While it will be good to be able to remember these things later on, you might be a bit too raw for this at first.

These are just a few suggestions I've picked up along the way. I can't tell you how to deal with your particular relationships, but it's good to have a few ideas as to how to get over your ex and get back to life again.