Online Ettiquette From An 'Insider's" Perspective

 

I may have mentioned it before, but I have been a forum moderator for going on nine years. In that time, I've seen a lot of good and bad conduct online. Since probably about 9 out of 10 of you have a Facebook account, I'm sure you have too. Sometimes it seems like people like to just 'let it all hang out', thinking they are anonymous and/or can hide behind a computer screen. It's amazing what kinds of things people will say or post when they don't think it will be traced back to them or don't have to actually look the person they're talking to in the eye. I know I've 'erred' this way! While most people don't mean any harm, there are some occasions where it really pays to be cautious. From the perspective of someone 'inside' the online-admin 'world', here are a few suggestions to keep in mind next time you post.

Don't 'over-share'. It's good that you want to share news with the world, but not everyone wants to hear everything. For example, I think it's cool if a friend who has just found out that she (or for a man, his wife) is pregnant to mention it and/or post ultrasound pictures. I do not, however, want to see an ultrasound of a kidney stone. I think it's great when someone who has previously asked for prayer or has had something major happen in their family posts an update, but I'd rather not know how big the tumor was or how long someone was in labor. There are just some things I don't want to read over my morning coffee, thank you.

Consider your audience. Remember, anything that is posted online is out there for anyone to see, and permanently. Even if we have privacy restrictions saying only certain people can see what you post, nothing stops those people from copying it or sharing it with anyone else. Also, if you set it up so 'friends of friends' can see things, it means exactly that; that I might be able to see something from a person I don't know because we share a mutual contact. I guess a good rule of thumb can be this-if you wouldn't want your boss, priest or mom seeing something, don't post it. That goes for pictures, status updates or links. If you don't want forty or fifty million of your closest friends seeing your name or anything else about you on it, think twice.

Remember that there is a real person on the other side of the screen. It's really easy to forget that it's not a computer screen or chat room persona we are talking to, but an actual person. Like I said before, a lot of people will be more 'open' online than in 'real life'-that includes being willing to talk to someone using words or a tone we wouldn't otherwise. I've had to eat my words on a number of occasions. Also, we don't have the benefit of non-verbal cues online that we do in offline conversations, so do what you can to make sure your intent is clear. If you're joking, say so or use a smiley. If you're being sarcastic, indicate so. It takes a bit of extra typing, but it pays off.

And last but certainly not least-

Don't feed the trolls! If there is someone who seems intent on annoying people or who seems to only be trying to push your buttons, don't play along. If someone is bothering you, don't respond in kind. In fact, don't respond at all. Trolls are the online equivalent to the playground bully-they are trying to get a rise out of you and will get bored and leave if they don't. Put them on ignore. There is nothing wrong with blocking or ignoring someone who consistently upsets you. If you think that you or someone else is being harassed and/or any threats of violence are made, alert the site's admins immediately. Chances are it's just some bored teenager home on a Friday night, but you never know. I'd rather you not find out the hard way.

Hopefully I've given you some food for thought. I'm sure you wouldn't intentionally bother anyone, online or otherwise. Even so, you might be able to pass my advice onto someone else.

Meeting Men Online

Are you tired of meeting the same sleazy men at your local bar? Does it seem like there are no men left in your town anywhere? Or maybe there are, but you just don't know where to look? Well, the best thing for you to do is to try to meet men online. It's quick, it's easy, and it's painless because you get to control who you meet. It allows you to screen potential boyfriends without having to get all dulled up for a date. You can sift through hundreds of bios until one catches your eye and when it does, then you can make the effort to get dressed up and meet him for a bite to eat or a drink.

So where do you find these men? There are a plethora of dating and social networking sites available on the internet today. If you want to be more discreet about your search for men, you may want to consider using something like Facebook as your database for meeting men. Facebook allows for casual conversation that can be treated as friendly without the assumption that you are solely trying to find a date. This is also great because you get a chance to see your male "Friends" in a casual atmosphere. They don't know you are watching their updates and looking at their pictures because you are considering them as a dating option. They more or less think that you added them as a friend because you had mutual friends and you were just trying to network. By going through a portal like Facebook, there is very minimal pressure when it comes to actually meeting and choosing a date.

Now, there are other sites that are a bit more direct, such as Match.com. Match not only lets the prospects know exactly what you are there fore, it also allows you and your potential mates to fill out surveys and questionnaires about your lives and what you would be like as a mate. By doing this, it enables you to looks for certain personality traits that are important to you.

Match also takes your answers and submits them into a formula that generates what type of personality would best compliment your own in a way that would produce a long-lasting relationship. One may never have thought that such a science could be responsible for generating love, but its been proven to do so by hundreds, maybe even thousands, of happy couples.

No matter which route you take, the more indirect route via Facebook, or a more direct route via Match, it is important that you stay true to yourself. You are a capable, strong, and beautiful woman and anyone would be lucky to have you! The best thing you can do when looking for love, especially online, is to keep your heart open and do not write people off too quickly. Most importantly, do not ever lose sight of who you are or what you deserve. Every women deserves a prince!