I've been around a lot of happy marriages. For instance, my parents were married for 28 years and would have been married for 28 more had my mother not passed away. My brother and his partner have been together for 33 years-almost as long as I've been alive. When I was working in a fancy restaurant, I once waited on a couple who had been married for over 50 years and still liked each other! When you consider that many couples nowadays barely celebrate their 2nd anniversary, you know what an achievement that is! When asked what their 'secret' is, they all said that part of keeping romance alive comes from not settling into a pattern-while they may not go all out like they may have done before, they still do some 'little things' to show their love for each other. I figure that, if it worked for them, maybe it will work for us too. On that tip, here are some ways to surprise your partner and let you know you're thinking of him.
- Re-call good memories. For instance, my husband and I met at a wedding. I think it's sweet that he still remembers the song ("Fire Woman" by the Blue Oyster Cult) that was playing in the car when we drove to a restaurant after a wedding reception. I remember how I got his name wrong (he has an unusual name) and how he was laughing and having fun with his friends.
Re-create your first date. Go to the same restaurant, rent the same movie, play the same music etc.
- Re-count stories of things like how you met, when you knew you were going to be together forever, what first attracted to you to each other, etc.
- Send him a sweet text message.
- Take a bubble bath together.
- Finally finish That Task You Keep Putting Off.
- Leave him notes all over the house. The pad next to the phone, a Post-it on the coffee maker, a note in his lunch bag.
- Take a moonlit walk.
- Make a list of everything you love about him and leave it in a place he will find it, but that isn't obvious.
- Write him a love poem. Don't worry if you're not good with that sort of thing; he might actually find that endearing!
- Dress nice and fix up the house for no reason at all.
- Kiss under the stars.
- If you have pets, write funny notes in their names. I once left my husband a funny note in our cat Slater's name, including misspelling. He thought it was cute. I did the same thing for him on Father's Day, but signed all five names.
- Make him a 'coupon book' with favors he can 'cash in'. Stuff like "Get out of the doghouse free', 'you pick the restaurant", "good for one free foot rub", "sexual favor of your choice", etc.
- If you don't work outside the home, get up with him in the morning and see him off.
- When he's in the shower, draw a heart in the steam on the mirror. I'd say 'lipstick', but steam is much easier to clean.
- On the tip above, write notes in unexpected ways. For instance, my husband once wrote 'Love You' with a pressure washer when we were cleaning the patio. I also once saw a man write a love note in Spanish all over a paper tablecloth. That might not seem like much, but it's much more than I could ever do!
- Send him love emails. Just make sure that they're only on his *personal* email and, if you send him 'racy' ones, make sure to label them as 'not safe for work'! Ditto pictures.
- If you can, designate one night a week as 'date night'. This way, you are free to go somewhere that doesn't have crayons on the table. Or, if it does, you are free to draw whatever you want. :)
- On that tip-if you are an artist of sorts, draw something sweet (or sexy!) for him.
Hopefully you'll get a lot of mileage out of these tips, as well as coming up with some of your own. It's amazing how much these little things can make a person feel loved and appreciated. What are some 'little things' you like to do?
