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| I'm the one in the middle! |
I hear you just got engaged.
Congratulations! Now comes the hard part-planning that big day. Some
of us grew up hearing that our wedding day was going to be the best
day of our lives. We might have had it mentally planned out by the
time we were ten (I didn't), but now it's time to put the pedal to
the metal and actually start putting things together. I'm no expert,
but here are some tips that helped me when I was getting married.
Do decide what is important
early on. A good rule of thumb is to pick three things that you
absolutely must have on your wedding day, and 'rank' the rest.
For me, it was the dress, a religious ceremony and having my friends
and family involved. Having this sort of 'ranking' can help you
decide where to put the most money so you don't end up spending a lot
on things like fancy pew bows or party favors that don't matter much
to you.
Don't dress
your bridesmaids up in ugly dresses. I know some people say that
bridesmaids' dresses are supposed to be ugly so the bride can look
better in comparison, but that's completely false. As you can see
from the picture above, mine were really nice.
Do look
to your friends for ideas, but-
Don't let
people fix the problems in their
wedding through yours.
Your friends probably just want to save you any trouble they had, but
some people take it a step too far and give advice that sounds more
like they are talking to themselves
than to you. They mean no harm; in fact, they usually don't even
realize they're doing it. Case in point-a friend of mine told me that, since we were going to have dancing, I should have a sit-down
dinner rather than heavy appetizers at the reception. She gave the
fact that people left her wedding reception early (and the upset it
caused her) as the reasoning. I see her point, but there are two
problems with that.
- Our definitions of 'heavy appetizers' were different. Hers involved cake, fruit, cheese and crackers-things you'd expect to find after church during coffee hour. Mine-and that of the catering company-involved cake, short ribs, new potatoes, salads and an extensive 'make your own sandwich' station. Hers was a snack where mine could easily be made into dinner. Also-
- Hers was at 2pm and mine was at 5pm. People left our reception after only a couple of hours, but we were fine with that because they had to put their kids to bed and we were exhausted!
I
said all that to say that you have to take everyone's advice with a
grain (or shaker) of salt. Even if you are not as easily
influenced/naïve about weddings as I was, it's not hard for an
overwhelmed bride to be swept along with the tide.
Do use
whatever connections you have. If your mom knows a photographer from
bowling or your friend's father is a priest, don't be afraid to ask.
Also, don't just think of the wedding. My stepsister was a manager at
a very posh beachfront restaurant and had some of her coworkers join
her in making our rehearsal dinner. I didn't even think of that-that
was my parents' doing. They paid for it, after all. Which leads me to
my next point-
Do
be realistic about the budget! One thing I've noticed about a lot of
'bridezillas' I've seen is that they went into their wedding day
expecting it to be some fairy-tale setup with no expense spared but,
when they realized that most families can't afford to have Billy Joel
play the wedding march under an archway of gardenias, they thought
their lives were over. This is a slight exaggeration, of course, but
you get the point. Be realistic about what you can afford and find a
way to work within your budget. That's where the 'ranking' I
mentioned earlier comes into play.
Hopefully
now you have an idea of how to make the planning of your wedding day
a little less stressful. Things might not go perfectly, but that
doesn't mean it still can't be the best day of your life.
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