5) You don't know when to quit.
It's true that every relationship has its ups and downs as time and
life goes on. In fact, I
think part of the reason for the high divorce rate in this country is
that some people have no
concept of this
and bail once it's not fun
anymore. However, it's very possible to lean too far in the other
direction. We think that if we just work a little harder on things,
change ourselves enough
or change him enough,
things will work out. This
isn't necessarily true. Sometimes a relationship can't be saved
because it's not meant to be saved.
6) You don't want to hurt
him/be mean/etc. For many of
us, our good nature tells us that we have to be nice all the time. If
we hurt someone or do something that could be seen as 'mean', we feel
guilty. I once had someone manipulate me like this, and I regret it
to this day. He threatened to hurt himself more than once, and I
didn't want to be responsible for something like that. Who would? If
he says something like this to get you to stay, don't fall for it! If
someone is unbalanced enough to hurt himself because of a breakup, he
needs a lot more help than you could give. This is coming from
someone who has been on both
sides.
Think
about it this way; what would you rather have done for you? Would you
rather him stay with you when he clearly doesn't want to, or would
you want him to break it off all at once? The longer a breakup is
dragged out, the more painful it is for everyone.
7) You're afraid to be alone.
This is a big one for me. You might have been in a relationship of
some kind for so long that you don't know what to do with yourself if
you don't have a partner. You worry that you won't be able to get him
back if you realize you made a mistake or if you can't find anyone
else. Trust me, being alone is better than being with the wrong
person. Also, you're probably not truly
alone-you have friends, family, pets, etc. As hard as it is to leave
our 'comfort zone', sometimes it's the only thing we can
do. 'The devil you know' is still a devil.
If
one or more of these things are true for you, it may be time to
re-evaluate your relationship with your partner. Yes,
the breakup will hurt. That's a given. However, sometimes there is no
painless way out of a situation. If
you stay too long in the wrong relationship, you may miss out on the
right one.
It's
well worth the effort to save a good relationship. However, if you
are always trying to save it, it's probably not a good relationship.
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