Tips For Choosing A Wedding Dress Part 3

(Continued from Part 2)

-Look for deals whenever you can. For instance, I got my dress for a drastically reduced price because the shop was about to go out of business. Major designers will often have specials or shows, so research when these are. Also, you might be able to get a discount from a retailer if you take advantage of sales or store policies such as having alterations done on-site or getting your bridesmaid dresses from the same shop. If you live in a smaller town, you or your family might know someone who can get you a discount on either your dress or some other aspect of the wedding. If you're only going for a basic veil, you can often find them in “regular” stores as opposed to bridal boutiques. Every little bit of savings helps.

Also, don't stop at your dress. Since the dress I wore in my sister's wedding was very “prom-like”, it really helped to shop when prom dresses went on sale. Some people might look down on second-hand stores, but don't immediately rule out a bridal consignment shop because you may be able to find a great dress (for yourself or a maid) at a good price. As expensive as some bridesmaid dresses are and as tough times have been on some of our pocketbooks, the effort will be appreciated.

-Give yourself plenty of time to pick out a dress, but don't start too early. A good idea is to wait until the venue and reception are arranged because you will be better able to “tailor” your dress accordingly. However, you don't want to wait too much longer than that because you might find yourself in a pinch for time. Also, remember that specially-ordered dresses can take several months to come in. Even if you buy one off the rack, alterations can take a while to complete. The same goes for bridesmaid dresses, especially if you have a large party or some of them live far away.

-Don't bring a whole gaggle of friends with you to pick out your dress. As much fun as it might be to hear a bunch of people oohing and ahhing over your dress, you don't want too many opinions at once. Bring one or two people you can trust to tell you the truth about how you look.

-Don't let yourself be pressured into buying or wearing a dress you don't love. If someone else is footing the bill they definitely have a say, but you should make what you want known.

Hopefully these tips will make picking out a wedding dress to be as fun and stress-free as possible. Good luck and, again, congratulations!

Tips For Choosing A Wedding Dress, Part 2

(Continued from Part 1)

-Know what you want in a dress ahead of time. I don't mean that you have to have your perfect wedding dress pictured in your head; in fact, that might make things more difficult because it will be hard to find an exact match. You will, however, want to have an idea of what you want in a dress. A lot is going to depend on your figure and what parts of your body you want to accentuate the most. Do you want the skirt to be straight or flared? If you choose a flared one, do you want the crinoline built in? That will at least cut out one extra undergarment. What sort of silhouette (A-line, halter, empire waist, etc)? Do you want one with sleeves, or no? Straps or no? Can you wear a bra with it? For me, not wearing a bra is not an option, nor were “pasties” or other things for smaller-breasted women. Color-white, off-white, ivory etc? I wore white because, dammit, I could. What kind of embellishments do you want, if any? I know it's a lot to think about, but it really helps to have an idea of what you're looking for when you walk into the shop, especially if you have an appointment with a consultant.

Also, consider what to wear when you go shopping. If there's a particular accessory you want to wear-for instance, your mother's veil or necklace-, bring it with you so you can see how they look with your dress. If you're prone to crying when you find the perfect dress, I'd avoid wearing eye makeup that can run and stain. This isn't a problem for me, but it might be for you. It may also help not to wear lipstick for similar reasons.

-Consider how the dress will look in photographs. Some fabrics can look great in person but not so much in pictures. Does it flatter from all angles? If the shop you're visiting allows it (some don't), bring a camera and have a friend take pictures. This will give you a better idea of how the dress will look to others than a mirror would.

-Take the opinions of your intended and family into consideration, but don't let them pressure you. Like I said above, I was, um, qualified to wear a white wedding dress. My family wouldn't have made a big deal of it had I not been, but some families would.

-Look for fit rather than number size. Many shops will recommend that you try on dresses about two sizes larger than what you normally wear because of some of the undergarments (whale-boning for breast support, crinolines, girdles, etc) that are often worn under the dress. Even if you don't wear any sort of special underwear, wedding dresses may be sized differently “regular” clothes. Also, you're not just going to be standing; you'll be sitting, eating, possibly dancing, etc. Be sure you can do these things in your dress.

Tips For Choosing A Wedding Dress Part 1

Congratulations, you're engaged! Now what? Some of us dream about what we want for our wedding, but we don't always realize how much time and preparation can go into creating the day we want. I personally didn't have many ideas about my wedding, but I did know that I wanted to find the perfect wedding dress. Even though you're only going to be wearing this dress once, you'll be wearing it on what some consider to be the biggest and most memorable day of your life. There are a ton of details that go into picking out a wedding dress, even if you're going for a simple wedding. I'm no expert, but here are a few suggestions.

-Get a dress that fits you now. I know some people plan on losing a bunch of weight so they can fit into a smaller dress, but there's really no reason to get fixated on numbers. Also, what if you don't lose all the weight, or lose it in the wrong places? Instead, buy a dress that fits you now; you can always have it taken in if you need to. But, at the same time-

-Take into account any changes you might go through. I've known people who started on medication such as birth control and had their breasts expand in a way that didn't fit with their dresses. I had a similar problem and, while I was able to wear the dress, the seamstress had to make a lot of alterations that may not have been possible had I picked a different style. You might not be able to predict such things but, if you can, keep them in mind. It's a lot easier to take a dress in than to let it out.

-Have a budget in mind beforehand. Don't try on dresses you know you can't afford because you don't want to fall in love with one and not be able to get it.

-Be sure your dress doesn't take up your entire attire budget. Remember that it's not just the dress you'll be wearing-you'll be wearing shoes, jewelry, a veil. I managed to find a five-way bra I could wear with my low-backed dress, but it wasn't cheap. Also, it's almost a given that you'll need alterations. Even if you're not short like I am, most dresses will require at least some sort of hemming or adjustment. You want to set aside plenty of money and time for that.

-If you go to a bridal shop to try on dresses, it can help to make an appointment with a sales associate. Shopping for a wedding dress isn't like shopping for a party or prom dress; there are so many variables I've mentioned in this article that you're going to want help from someone who knows what they're doing. Stores such as David's Bridal have consultants on staff to help with these things, but you have to make an appointment in advance. If you do go this route, ask about the cost. Most of the time the consultants are store employees that make a regular wage plus commission, but this isn't always the case. If the store allows it, be prepared to give a tip because this person will be doing a lot more for you than you'd need to pick out other types of clothes.

Continued in part 2. 

Christmas Traditions

What sorts of holiday traditions do you have? For instance, do you put up a Christmas tree? Stockings by the chimney and cookies for Santa?

As for presents, do you open them on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day?

As for services, do you go to church on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day? Is there a special meal you eat to celebrate? Do you have family and friends over? Or, are you like a lot of my friends back home who do nothing at all? I ask because I get a lot of enjoyment out of hearing how other people live and thought you might too. I don't know much about other holidays (Hanukkah, etc), so feel free to tell me about those too.

When we were kids, we put up the Christmas tree and put our wrapped presents under it. My dad would put up all kinds of Christmas lights up outside, as would everyone else in the neighborhood. At least once a week or so we would drive around to see particular houses that were known to have elaborate light displays and see if we could find anything new. We especially got a kick out of going to the country to see these two houses that had a running “contest” as to who could make the most outlandish outdoor display. I think one year I counted 16 Santa faces, 12 Nativity scenes, about 20 reindeer and all sorts of elves and candy canes. And this was in one yard. It must be nice to have that much time and money on your hands!

We weren't raised as Christians-at least, we didn't go to church past a certain point-, but we took part in the traditional American celebration. More than anything it was a time to get together and give gifts to the people we love. We did the whole Santa-and-stockings thing well past the time when a lot of others would have stopped; we didn't believe in Santa anymore, but it was still fun to go through the motions as though we did. Plus, my nephew was born when I was 12 and we went all out for him.

I remember my brother-in-law telling me that he hated the idea of Santa Claus because he felt Christmas was supposed to be about Jesus and Jesus alone. He didn't want my nephews to sit on Santa's lap or do the other things that then-one-year-olds do because he wanted them to know what Christmas was “really” about.

My sister eventually got him to step back by telling him that she would make sure that the boys knew that Santa and Jesus had nothing to do with each other and that the birth of Jesus was the “important” part of the holiday. Santa was just a silly American celebration while Jesus was the savior of the world. This is pretty common among my religious friends and what I plan on doing when and if I have children.

Overall, holidays are what you make of them. They can be as sacred or profane; fun or boring; lonely or loving, whatever-it's how you want to observe them, if you observe them at all. Things have the meaning we give them and there's nothing anyone else can do to take that away. Ultimately, it's all up to you.

Do-It-Yourself Oatmeal Face And Body Scrub

Do you love natural exfoliators, but don't love the prices you pay at the store? Is there someone on your list that loves bath products, but is allergic to some of the ingredients in commercial blends? Here's one you can make from things you may already have in your cabinet.

Lavender, Oatmeal and Tea Tree Oil Face and Body Scrub

¼ cup coarsely-ground oatmeal. Quick oats or slightly-cracked whole oats work best.

2 teaspoons honey or agave nectar

5 drops each of lavender and tea tree essential oils (or 10 drops of a blend, which can usually be found in drug stores).

In a small glass jar, combine the agave or honey with the oats and stir until well mixed. Once the oats have absorbed the liquid, stir in the oil.

This can be given as a gift or kept as a treat for yourself.

The best thing about scrubs like this is that they kill germs that can cause breakouts, but they don't irritate your skin the way alcohol-based antiseptics do. The only thing I see that could irritate sensitive skin is lavender, in which case you can use another essential oil. It's best to make small batches of food-related beauty products, but the ingredients are generally not very expensive. The agave is also rather good in hot tea. Enjoy!