I don't know about you, but I'm a huge
fan of the show House. In it, Hugh Laurie plays a
nice-looking but very misanthropic doctor who seems to always have
something snarky to say. One of his favorite phrases seems to be,
“Everybody lies.” As much as we'd like to think he's just being
cynical (which he is), it's true. Even the most truthful of us have
told the occasional 'little white lie' to save someone else's
feelings or said, “I'm fine” to end a conversation. Even if these
lies are harmless, it still pays to be able to tell when someone is
lying in case something they say isn't so innocent. Of course, this
isn't an exhaustive list, but here are some of the basic signals that
someone is lying to us:
-Giving either too much or too
little eye contact.
We've all seen the person who avoids your gaze when lying to you, but
some people will make an extra effort to look you in the eye and end
up staring you down.
-Giving more information than is
requested. Instead of, “No,
Mom, I wasn't snooping in my sister's stuff,” a liar might say, “I
wasn't snooping! I was trying to find the X she borrowed from me and
never gave back...” in an effort to be more 'convincing'.
-Stalling.
Someone who is lying might repeat your words or question back to you
in an effort to buy some time. When they *do* answer, it's not
uncommon for a liar to use words like 'um' or 'ah' more than usual or
to speak in rushed sentences. Using more formal language (for
instance, “I did not” instead of “I didn't”) than usual
could also point to a lie.
-Distancing
themselves from the subject.
Rather than her name, former president Bill Clinton referred to
Monica Lewinsky as 'that woman'. A person might also make indirect
statements or focus on smaller details in an effort to avoid the
actual question. A statement like “why would I do something like
that?” or “that's not something I would normally say” might
sound like an answer, but it's really an effort to turn things around
on you and distract from whatever it is you're asking about.
-Body
language. Is the person being
more rigid or fidgety than usual? Similar to eye contact, an
overly-stiff demeanor could signify a lie because it shows that a
person is actively trying not to fidget. Also, studies have shown
that people who lie tend to touch their faces-particularly the nose
or ears-more than usual.
-Facial
and verbal expressions. Is the
person's tone of voice or facial expression inconsistent with what
they are saying? Most fake emotions (such as smiling) only involve
the muscles around the mouth, while real ones involve both the mouth
and the eyes. This is important because, while the motions of the
mouth are voluntary, the eyes are not. It's also possible to tell if
someone is lying if their voice changed pitch suddenly. I'm not
talking about the way a teenage boy's voice cracks at times because
that's not linked to anything other than puberty.
These
are only a few signs that someone could be lying to you. I'm not
suggesting that we should be mistrustful of everyone
the way Dr. House is, but it helps to know what to look for in case
someone ever does try
to deceive us.
For
an interesting take on this, check out
http://www.care2.com/greenliving/how-to-tell-if-someones-lying-infographic.html.
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